MORE THAN A HOUSE
Building a Godly Home
Psalm 127:1–2
Introduction
I spent my entire childhood growing up in the same house in Sydney, Florida. From the time I was young until the day I married Lori, that house never changed. It was familiar, steady, and constant. In fact, I did not live in a different house until the day we were married.
But once Lori and I began our life together, the houses began to change.
- At first, we lived in an apartment in Moon Township, just outside Pittsburgh.
- Then we rented a duplex in Coraopolis, Pennsylvania.
- Later, we moved to middle Georgia, where we lived in a parsonage for five years.
- From there, we went to Detroit, where we lived in another apartment and eventually bought our first home.
- Five years later, we moved again, this time to Greer, South Carolina, where we rented a townhome and then later bought our second house. We lived there for fourteen years, long enough to feel settled, rooted, and convinced that we were home.
- Then, in time, we designed and built what we thought would be our forever house. Only to discover, just five years later, God would move us again.
- And so, now we live in Gilbert, South Carolina. In another house.
Over the course of our marriage, houses have come and gone. Addresses have changed. Walls, roofs, and layouts have shifted with seasons of ministry and obedience. What Lori and I have learned over time is this. You can live in many houses, but still be building one home.
We have spent a lifetime building more than a house. We have sought to build a life together. A family together. A godly home where Christ is trusted, grace is practiced, and love is visible.
And that’s what we want to talk with you about today.
Lori and I have been married nearly 33 years. We have four children, two children-in-law, and two granddaughters. We are deeply grateful for the way our family loves one another, supports one another, and serves the Lord together.
But…let me be clear: We have not always gotten everything right. We are certainly not perfect spouses (well, I’m not — but Lori may be). We just want you to know that we’ve not run a perfect race, we don’t have a perfect marriage, and we’re not perfect parents.
Now, I’m sure, as we’ve navigated our lives through the difficult seasons we’ve faced, we’ve probably made a lot of mistakes. But…what’s sustained us along the way wasn’t our ability to manage everything well. But rather, God’s faithfulness and our submission (or surrender) to Him. It’s been God’s goodness and His favor at work in our lives and in our home that have sustained us.
So, we’re not here today because of our goodness, but because of His grace. We are here today with story to tell of God’s abiding presence in some of the must difficult circumstances life has to offer. We are here today — with testimonies to the fact that God keeps His promises, and gives strength to the weary, even when we don’t deserve it.
And that’s the heart of this message.
If we have learned anything through the changing seasons, the moving trucks, and the different addresses, it is this. A home is only as strong as what it is built upon.
Well, before we go any further, I want to ground this message solely on God’s Word.So, if you have your Bible, look with me at Psalm 127:1–2. This happens to be a psalm included in a group of psalms known as the “Songs of Ascent.” A group of psalms sung annually by the people of Israel as they made their pilgrimage from wherever they lived, back to Jerusalem.
Families would travel together. Generations would walk side by side. And as they climbed toward the place of worship, they sang about what truly mattered. And here’s what Psalm 127 tells:
“Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain. In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat—for he grants sleep to those he loves.” — Psalm 127:1-2 (NIV)
This particular psalm is attributed to Solomon, one of Israel’s earliest kings. He was the son of David, and Scripture tells us that he was endowed with extraordinary wisdom and divine favor. His leadership shaped a nation. His insight drew the attention of kings. He was, by every measure, a gifted and capable leader.
But one of the defining marks of Solomon’s life was this: he knew how to build.
It was Solomon who was entrusted with constructing the temple of the Lord in Jerusalem, a sacred structure that would become the spiritual heart of Israel. Beyond the temple, he built royal palaces, strengthened cities, and directed expansive national building projects. He understood foundations, measurements, materials, and design. He knew what it meant to take vision and turn it into structure.
If anyone understood how to build something that would stand, it was Solomon.
And yet, under the inspiration of the Spirit, this master builder makes a stunning confession:
No matter how impressive a house may appear, without the Lord, it’s nothing.
In Hebrew thought, the word “HOUSE” is a powerful word. It carries lots of layered meaning. It can mean a physical structure. It can mean a household. It can mean a lineage, a legacy, or a family.
All of which must be build upon a solid foundation of Fatih in the Lord! That is why Scripture reminds us,
“Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain.”
That word “VAIN” means something empty and void, futile, and without substance. It doesn’t mean that the builders are lazy, or that they lack skill. It simply means their efforts, apart from God, won’t produce their desired outcome.
So, Solomon is not condemning the hard work of building something. He’s just saying:
God needs to be the architect, the designer, and the foundation (if we want it to last)!
And that leads us to the first — and most essential decision of our lives. If we want to build MORE THAN A HOUSE, then we must:
1. Place Jesus at the Center
If we are going to build something that lasts, we must decide who sits at the center of it.
Place Jesus at the center of everything. At the center of your life. At the center of your marriage. At the center of your home.
This is not just something we say. It is something we decide. This is more than a phrase. It is a choice. A choice about who will guide our steps and shape our home.
Whatever occupies the center determines the shape of everything else. The center sets the tone. It establishes the priorities. It influences the decisions. It governs the responses. When Christ is central, everything else finds its rightful place. When He is not, even good things begin to drift out of alignment.
Jesus never asked to be added to our family life as one more commitment on an already crowded calendar. He calls us to build our family life around Him.
That’s why in that famous Sermon on the Mount, He said:
“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” — Matthew 6:33 (NIV)
Seeking first means He is not an afterthought. He is not consulted once the plans are already made. He is not invited only when trouble arrives. He is first in affection. First in authority. First in dependence.
A Christ-centered family asks different questions. Not simply, “What works?” but “What honors the Lord?” Not merely, “What feels right?” but “What is faithful?” Faith is woven into daily rhythms. It is not reserved for emergencies or Sundays alone.
When Jesus is at the center, prayer becomes as natural as conversation. Scripture becomes the compass for decisions. Worship becomes a shared posture of the heart. The presence of Christ is not confined to a room in the house. He defines the atmosphere of the house.
This does not mean the family becomes flawless. It means the family becomes anchored.
Storms still come. Pressures still mount. Disagreements still surface. But a Christ-centered home knows where to turn when strength runs low and wisdom is needed.
Paul reminds us why this matters when he writes,
“He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.” — Colossians 1:17 (NIV)
Families do not ultimately hold themselves together. Schedules will not hold them together. Shared interests will not hold them together. Even strong personalities will not hold them together.
Christ does!
When Jesus is at the center, grace flows freely. Love grows visibly. Hope remains steady. The home becomes more than a structure with walls and memories. It becomes sacred ground. A place where faith is formed. Where character is shaped. Where generations learn what it means to follow Christ.
And once we make that decision, there is a second essential commitment we must embrace — and it’s this…we must:
2. Practice Love Visibly
If we are going to build something that lasts, then love cannot remain a slogan in our home. It must become a practice. Scripture calls us to embody a love that can be seen, felt, and experienced.
Here is what I have learned through the years. Authentic love always leaves evidence.
Biblical love is not passive. It does not sit quietly in the heart and call itself complete. It moves. It steps toward others. It gives when it would be easier to withhold. It stays when it would be simpler to walk away.
When the New Testament describes love, it describes something working. Serving. Enduring. Sacrificing. Love in Scripture is never abstract. It is relational and costly. It takes initiative.
The apostle John writes about love quite a bit in his first epistle. In 1 John 3:18 he says,
“Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.”
— 1 John 3:18 (NIV)
In other words, love must leave footprints.
Healthy families do not simply talk about love. They demonstrate it. Love shows up in patience when tempers are short. It shows up in forgiveness when someone has failed. It shows up in consistency when showing up is inconvenient.
Love becomes visible when parents model faith instead of pretending to be flawless. When a husband or wife extends grace instead of keeping score. When children witness repentance, humility, and prayer not as church language, but as everyday life.
Anyone can say, “I love you.” But visible love requires effort. It requires choosing kindness when irritation would be easier. It requires staying at the table when walking away would feel simpler.
Words matter. But actions confirm what we truly believe.
Visible love also creates something powerful within a home. It creates safety. A place where people are allowed to grow. A place where mistakes are not the end of the story. A place where confession is met with restoration instead of rejection.
That kind of environment does not happen accidentally. It is cultivated. It is guarded. It is built through grace.
And when love becomes visible, faith becomes believable.
Well, let me give you another essential decision that will help us build Godly homes, is this…we must:
3. Provide Grace Daily
If love is what gives warmth to a home, grace is what keeps it standing.
Colossians 3:12–14 gives us a picture of what God desires for the relationships within our families. As Paul states,
“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” — Colossians 3:12-14 (NIV)
Notice the language. Clothe yourselves. Bear with one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. These are not occasional gestures. They are daily choices.
Healthy families are not conflict-free families. They are grace-filled families.
There will be misunderstandings. There will be sharp words. There will be moments when personalities collide and expectations are unmet. The question is not whether tension will arise. The question is how we will respond when it does.
Grace creates a different kind of response.
Grace does not pretend wrong never happened. It does not excuse sin or dismiss responsibility. But it does make room for repentance. It opens the door for restoration. It refuses to let failure have the final word.
A grace-filled home mirrors the way Christ has treated us. Patient. Compassionate. Willing to forgive. Willing to begin again.
And when grace becomes the culture of a family, something beautiful happens. Humility replaces pride. Forgiveness interrupts bitterness. Unity grows stronger than disagreement.
Grace allows a family to walk through every season together. Through success and disappointment. Through celebration and sorrow. Through strength and weakness.
If we are going to build a godly home, grace cannot be occasional. It must be daily.
Well, there’s one last thing I believe the Bible calls us to do if we’re going to build Godly homes, and it’s this…we must:
4. Pursue Hope Together
If we are going to build something that lasts, we must learn to move forward together.
When I was in high school band, our director, Mr. Norton, had one phrase he repeated constantly: TOGETHERNESS IS NEXT TO GODLINESS!
What he meant was simple. Talent matters. Skill matters. Practice matters. But without unity, without listening to one another, without moving in the same direction, even the most gifted group will fall apart.
I have discovered the same is true in a family. God never designed families to chase hope in isolation. He designed us to walk in rhythm with one another. To listen. To adjust. To stay connected. Strength multiplies when hearts are aligned and lives are shared.
Ecclesiastes 4:9–12 reminds us,
“Two are better than one… If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.” — Ecclesiastes 4:9–12 (NIV)
Hope deepens when it is shared.
In healthy families, no one is expected to carry the full weight alone. Faith is shared. Burdens are shared. Joy is shared. When one grows weary, another steps in. When one struggles to see clearly, another speaks truth and encouragement.
Togetherness does not mean uniformity. In a band, the instruments are different. Each plays a distinct part. But when they follow the same conductor, something beautiful emerges. Harmony is not created by sameness, but by shared direction.
The same is true in the home. Families are not strengthened by everyone thinking alike or feeling alike. They are strengthened when everyone submits to the same Lord.
We pursue hope together by first pursuing God together. We seek His voice. We trust His promises. We align our hearts under His leadership. And then we turn toward one another with support, encouragement, and accountability.
Sometimes pursuing hope together means praying aloud. Sometimes it means sitting quietly beside someone who is hurting. Sometimes it means standing firm together when the future feels uncertain.
No family does this flawlessly. But families that remain connected, that keep turning toward God and toward each other, discover something steady and sustaining.
God meets them in the rhythm of their togetherness.
Before we close, I want us to slow down. Everything we have talked about today begins here. It begins with our hearts surrendered to Jesus. Not with creating a better strategy. Not with trying harder or being a better person. It all begins with surrendering our lives to Jesus.
Because, when my our lives belong fully to Jesus, then His Spirit will shape our responses. His presence in us will lead us to become more like Him.
Simply put, we can’t build what God intends apart from Him!
So, if you haven’t fully surrendered your life to Jesus yet, that’s the place to start. And you can do that today — right where you are, but simply praying and inviting Jesus to be your Lord and Savior. If you’d like to do that, would you pray with me?
Would you bow your heads with me? And pray with me now:
Lord Jesus, today I come to You knowing I need You. I confess that I have sinned and cannot save myself. I believe You are the Son of God, that You died for my sins, and that You rose again so I could be forgiven and made new. I turn from my sin and place my trust fully in You. Be my Savior and my Lord. Lead my life from this day forward. Thank You for Your grace and for giving me new life. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Congratulations! If you just prayed that prayer, and meant it, then you’ve just made the best decision you’ve even made. With that prayer, you’ve become a part of God’s forever family. You’re sin has been forgiven, and you’ve been saved! And that’s the first step to building a godly home!
Now, before we leave, I want to pray for the rest of us.
Family reaches each of us in different ways. For some, it brings gratitude. For others, it carries strain. Some of you feel joy when you think about home. Others feel disappointment or grief. Wherever you find yourself today, this moment is for you.
Building a godly home is not about flawless performance. It is about faithful dependence on Christ. It is not about getting everything right. It is about keeping Jesus at the center and trusting Him to do what we cannot.
If you would, bow your heads with me.
Some of you are weary from trying to hold everything together. Some of you need to place a specific relationship into God’s hands. Some of you need grace to forgive, to release, or to begin again.
Right where you are, would you simply pray this with me: “Lord, I trust You with my family.”
Prayer for Families
In fact, would you mind just standing with me…all over this place. Stand and me pray for you:
Lord Jesus, we bring our families to You. We bring what is strong and what is fragile. What is whole and what still needs healing. We acknowledge today that unless You build the house, our efforts fall short. Teach us to trust You. Teach us to depend on You. Fill our homes with Your presence, Your peace, and Your grace. Where there is brokenness, bring healing. Where there is weariness, bring strength. Where there is distance, restore love. May our families reflect Your heart. May love become real among us, and may it be visible in the way we care for one another. We place our families in Your hands. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Conclusion
Let me remind you of this. What God has begun in you today is not finished. His grace is still at work. This is a lifelong journey, and today is one faithful step.
Healthy families are not built overnight. They’re shaped over time — with daily dependence on Jesus. So trust Him. Look to Him. Depend on Him each day.
Godly families are not defined by perfection, but by direction. So, turn your hearts toward Jesus. Practice grace daily. And love each other well!
Live that way. And let your home be built on Jesus!