Living Grace in a Messy World
Philemon 1:1–7
Introduction
Have you ever noticed how some of the most powerful stories God writes begin in the messiest of places?
Sometimes it’s a family that’s been torn apart by conflict, and no one knows how to take the first step toward healing. Other times, it’s a friendship that fell apart because of hurtful words or unmet expectations, and the silence has lasted for years. Maybe it’s your own heart, weighed down by regrets and wishing you could go back and make different choices.
We all have chapters in our stories we wish we could rewrite.
But here’s the hope we have in Jesus: God specializes in taking broken stories and turning them into testimonies of redemption. He doesn’t just clean up the past; He steps into the present, breathes life into what feels dead, and writes a new ending—one filled with grace, forgiveness, and restoration.
The New Testament book of Philemon, though it’s small, gives us a front-row seat to watch God do just that. It’s a short letter, tucked away near the end of your Bible, that you could easily flip past without even noticing. Even so, inside this letter you’ll find a living picture of what happens when the gospel of Christ shows up in everyday life, when forgiveness replaces bitterness, and when grace moves from being something we talk about on Sundays to something actually lived out (every day).
If you have your bible, turn there with me. The book of Philemon.
Normally I would give you a chapter and verse, but this letter is only one chapter. So, we will begin in verse 1.
While you’re finding it I’ll share some of the backstory with you. Philemon, is a letter written by Paul to a wealthy man—a follower of Jesus named Philemon. It’s thought that while he wasn’t necessarily the pastor, that he might have allowed the church to meet in his home. This story involves another man named Onesimus, a runaway slave who wronged Philemon and, by Roman law, could face severe punishment—even death. Finally, there’s Paul, the author of this letter. While the others are living free, Paul was imprisoned for preaching the gospel. Yet, even from prison he was able to lead Onesimus to faith in Christ. And so, as he writes this letter, he’s doing so to try and reconcile the relationship between Philemon and Onesimus. And his request is that Philemon would forgive him and welcome him back, not as a slave, but as a brother in Christ.
Again, like most of our stories, this one is awkward. It’s messy. And it’s seems very personal. However, this is exactly the kind of story that God likes. Those that seem impossible and broken.
If you’ve ever wondered what it looks like to live out grace in real relationships, to forgive when it’s hard, and to believe God can redeem what’s broken, then this message is for you.
Because God didn’t just give us grace to rescue us from our sin; He gave us grace so we could live it out with others—becoming agents of redemption in a world desperate for it.
Again, if you have your bible, we’ll begin in verse 1. Here Paul writes:
1 Paul, a prisoner of Christ Jesus, and Timothy our brother, To Philemon our dear friend and fellow worker—2 also to Apphia our sister and Archippus our fellow soldier—and to the church that meets in your home: 3 Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. 4 I always thank my God as I remember you in my prayers, 5 because I hear about your love for all his holy people and your faith in the Lord Jesus. 6 I pray that your partnership with us in the faith may be effective in deepening your understanding of every good thing we share for the sake of Christ. 7 Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the Lord’s people.— Philemon 1:1–7 (NIV)
As I’ve already stated, Philemon was a wealthy man. But, he was also a respected believer in Colossae.
When Paul writes to Philemon, he doesn’t do so with the force of a command, but rather from the heart of a friend, urging him to receive Onesimus as a brother.
Before Paul ever makes addresses the issue of Onesimus, he first begins by highlighting what God has already done (specifically in Philemon’s life). Paul ties the these two men and their stories together with grace.
Don’t miss this, Paul’s approach helps us understand that before we can apply grace to others, we first have to remember what grace has done in us. In short, we can’t give out what we haven’t yet received. And Paul helps Philemon see this.
So, the first step in living out grace is :
1. Recognize God’s Grace at Work in Your Life
Listen again to the words of verse 4.
“I always thank my God as I remember you in my prayers…” (v. 4)
Paul begins this letter with words that are easy to overlook but powerful if we let them sink in. Sitting in a prison cell, chained and uncertain about his own future, Paul writes, “I always thank my God as I remember you in my prayers.”
Think about that for a moment. Paul doesn’t start by correcting Philemon, or telling him what he needs to do, or even explaining the heavy request he’s about to make. No, Paul begins with gratitude. Even in chains, even in discomfort, Paul has learned the discipline—and the joy—of looking for the evidence of God’s grace in the lives of others.
So, what does he see in Philemon? He sees a man whose faith in Jesus is real. He sees a man whose love for God’s people is genuine, who opens his home for worship, who refreshes the hearts of those around him. Paul sees grace at work in Philemon’s life, and it causes him to pause and thank God.
It’s a powerful reminder for us, isn’t it? Before we can extend grace to others, we have to recognize the grace we have received ourselves. Before we can step into the work of reconciliation, forgiveness, and redemption, we need to slow down long enough to see that God’s grace has already been at work in us.
Because the truth is, it’s easy to forget how far God has brought us. We get caught up in what’s wrong, in what we wish was different, in what still needs to change, and we lose sight of what God has already done. We forget about the prayers God has answered, the doors He’s opened, the sins He’s forgiven, and the strength He’s provided.
Some of us, if we’re honest, have lost touch with the wonder of grace. We’ve been walking with Jesus for so long that we forget what it was like to be lost. We forget the emptiness we felt before we found hope in Him. We forget the guilt that used to weigh us down, the fear that used to control us, the shame that used to whisper, “You’ll never change.” We forget that it was grace that rescued us, not our own effort, and it is grace that is still carrying us today.
It’s a bit like pulling out an old photo album and flipping through the pages, seeing yourself as you were years ago. The awkward haircuts. The old clothes. The nervous smile. The innocence. The challenges you faced back then. And you find yourself thinking, “Wow, I’ve come a long way.” It stirs gratitude for the journey and for the God who was faithful at every step.
And that’s what gratitude does. It softens our hearts. It reminds us that if God can be that patient with us, we can be patient with others. If God can forgive us, we can extend forgiveness. If God’s grace was big enough to cover our sin, then surely His grace can cover the sins of others too.
Paul saw grace in Philemon’s life, and he called it out. He celebrated it. He thanked God for it. What if we did the same? What if, instead of focusing only on the areas where we fall short, we chose to pause and look for the fingerprints of God’s grace in our lives?
What if you took time this week to reflect on where God has brought you from? To remember how He saved you, how He’s provided for you, how He’s guided you, and how He’s shaped you into the person you are today? What if you let gratitude rise up in your heart again, not as a vague feeling, but as a deep awareness that God’s grace has been holding you, shaping you, and writing your story all along?
Because when you see God’s grace in your life, it changes how you see others. It prepares your heart to extend that same grace forward. It moves grace from being something you talk about on Sundays to something you live out on Mondays.
Before Paul asks Philemon to welcome back Onesimus and extend radical forgiveness, he helps him see that grace has already been at work in his life.
Likewise, before God asks you to extend grace, He invites you to remember the grace you’ve received.
Friend, God’s grace has carried you further than you realize. And the same grace that has met you, forgiven you, and restored you is the grace God wants to extend through you to others.
Let’s not rush past that. Let’s allow gratitude to soften our hearts so we can become agents of grace in a world that desperately needs to see it.
When we pause to remember how God’s grace has met us, carried us, and shaped us, something begins to happen in our hearts. Gratitude softens us, and it prepares us to live differently. It’s one thing to recognize God’s grace; it’s another to let that grace overflow into how we live each day. And that’s exactly what we see in Philemon’s life.
2. Live a Faith that Refreshes Others
As Paul continues his letter, he tells Philemon something that must have been deeply encouraging to hear. He says:
“Because I hear about your love for all his holy people and your faith in the Lord Jesus.” (v. 5)
And then in verse 7:
“Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the Lord’s people.”
What a beautiful thing to have said about you. Philemon’s faith wasn’t just something he kept private. It wasn’t hidden away as a set of beliefs he quietly agreed with in his mind while living like everyone else around him. His faith was visible, tangible, and practical. People could feel it. They were encouraged by it. They were refreshed by it.
Paul says, “Your love has given me great joy and encouragement.” Think about that: Paul, chained in prison, worn and weary, finds joy because of the faith and love of someone else. The ripple effect of Philemon’s faith reached all the way into a prison cell and lifted the spirit of the apostle Paul.
That’s what real faith does. It refreshes others. It lifts burdens. It breathes hope into tired souls. It puts courage back into hearts that feel like giving up.
I wonder, when people encounter you, do they leave feeling heavier, or do they leave feeling lighter? Do they walk away feeling discouraged, or do they walk away feeling seen, loved, and reminded of God’s faithfulness?
This world can be draining, can’t it? People are carrying silent battles. They’re worried about their children, or about bills they can’t pay, or about a diagnosis they’re afraid to face. Sometimes people just need to encounter someone whose faith is alive enough to encourage them, whose words are kind enough to lift them, and whose presence is gracious enough to remind them that God sees them and cares.
Philemon was that kind of person. His faith wasn’t loud for the sake of being loud, but it was alive, and it showed up in how he treated others, how he opened his home for the church to gather, how he served people, how he loved God’s people. Paul calls it out: “You, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the Lord’s people.”
What if that could be said of you? What if, when your name comes up in conversation, people say, “You know, every time I talk to her, I leave encouraged.” “Every time I see him, I’m reminded that God is faithful.” “When I’m around them, I feel seen and valued.”
That doesn’t mean you have to have it all together. It doesn’t mean you have to have all the answers or solve everyone’s problems. It simply means you live your faith in a way that others can feel. You show up with kindness. You listen well. You pray with people when they share their burdens. You let people know you care, and you point them back to the goodness of God.
It’s like a cold glass of water on a hot day. You don’t have to explain what it does; you just take a sip, and you feel it. You’re refreshed, even if it’s just for a moment, and it helps you keep going. Your faith can be that glass of water for someone who feels like they’re walking through a desert.
In a world that often feels harsh, divided, and impatient, living a faith that refreshes others is one of the most powerful witnesses you can have. People may not remember every Bible verse you quote, but they will remember how you made them feel. They will remember if you treated them with kindness, if you took time to pray with them, if you encouraged them when they felt unseen.
And here’s the truth: you don’t have to wait until your life is perfect to start refreshing others. You don’t have to wait until your problems are solved or your prayers are all answered. Philemon wasn’t perfect, but he was available, and his faith was active. He let God’s grace flow through him to others, and it made a difference.
Friend, God wants to use you to refresh the hearts of others. He wants your faith to be visible, practical, and life-giving. He wants your love for people to point them back to Him.
So this week, let me encourage you to look for opportunities to live a faith that refreshes others. Send that encouraging text. Pray with that coworker who is going through a hard time. Speak life over your children. Be patient in that conversation. Show up for someone who feels alone.
Because in doing so, you are living out the gospel in real, tangible ways—just like Philemon did—and you are becoming part of the redemption story God is writing in the lives of others.
Philemon’s faith wasn’t a hidden faith; it was a faith that refreshed others and made a difference in the lives around him. But Paul knew that God wasn’t finished with Philemon yet. There was a deeper place God was calling him to—a deeper partnership with what God was doing, not just in his own life, but in the lives of others. And that’s the next step for us, too.
3. Partner with God’s Mission in Deeper Ways
As Paul continues, he tells Philemon something deeply personal:
“I pray that your partnership with us in the faith may be effective…” (v. 6)
Paul is saying, “Philemon, I’m praying that your faith will lead you deeper—not just in knowing about Jesus, but in living out what you’ve received from Him.”
It’s one thing to know the right words about faith. It’s another thing to live them out in a way that impacts others. Paul is praying that Philemon’s faith would become so active, so alive, so effective, that it would draw him into a deeper understanding of the good things God has for him in Christ—not just for Philemon’s benefit, but for the sake of the mission of Jesus.
It’s like Paul is saying, “Philemon, there is more.” More to discover. More to live out. More to experience in the goodness of God’s kingdom. But the way you step into that “more” is by actively partnering with what God is doing around you.
Sometimes we can fall into the trap of thinking faith is just about us—about our personal relationship with Jesus, about our personal growth, about our personal blessings. But Paul reminds us that faith is meant to draw us into deeper partnership with God’s mission in the world.
We grow in faith not by hoarding what we’ve received, but by sharing it with others. We discover God’s heart in a deeper way when we join Him in what He’s doing to reach people, to heal relationships, to bring hope to the hurting, to share the gospel with those who don’t know Him.
And here’s what I love: Paul knows Philemon well enough to believe that he is the kind of person who wants to go deeper. The kind of person who wants to partner with God’s mission. The kind of person who is willing to step into what God is doing, even when it’s hard, even when it stretches him, even when it calls him to live out grace in uncomfortable ways.
Philemon has already been partnering with God by hosting the church in his home, by serving, by giving, by refreshing others. And Paul prays that this faith will continue to grow, shaping him into a person who fully embodies the goodness of Christ in every area of his life.
Friend, that’s God’s desire for you too. God wants you to move from simply receiving His grace to participating in sharing it with others. He wants you to discover the joy of seeing lives changed, relationships healed, and people encouraged because you stepped into what God is doing.
Think about a river. A river is alive and clear when it flows, but when water gets stuck with nowhere to go, it becomes stagnant. Your faith is like that. When it flows into the lives of others, it stays fresh and alive. When it’s bottled up just for you, it begins to lose its vitality.
Your faith isn’t meant to stop with you. It’s meant to flow through you.
God has placed people around you who need to see what grace looks like in action. People in your family. People in your workplace. People in your church. People who need encouragement, who need to see forgiveness lived out, who need to be reminded that God hasn’t given up on them.
Partnering with God’s mission isn’t just for pastors or missionaries. It’s for every believer who says, “Lord, use me to reflect Your goodness to the people around me.”
So let me ask you: Where is God inviting you to step deeper? Who around you needs the encouragement you can offer? Where can your faith refresh someone who is weary?
Paul’s prayer for Philemon can be a prayer for us too: “Lord, let my faith lead me into deeper partnership with You. Let me discover every good thing You have for me—not just for myself, but so others can see Your goodness through my life.”
Because when we choose to step into what God is doing, our faith comes alive in new ways, and we get to be part of the redemption stories God is writing in the lives of others.
You see, this is what grace does. It meets us where we are, it flows through us to refresh others, and it invites us to join God in what He’s doing in the world. God’s grace writes redemption stories, and He wants to write those stories in us and through us. So the question for us today is simple: Will we let Him?
Conclusion
As we come to the end of this message, I want you to see how beautifully this letter begins to set up a bigger story—a story of redemption that God is writing, not just in Philemon’s life, but in yours and mine as well.
Paul reminds Philemon that grace isn’t a theory; it’s a reality that’s already been shaping his life. Grace has brought him to this moment. Grace has shaped him into the kind of person who can live out the gospel in real, messy, everyday relationships. Grace has prepared him for what God is calling him to do next.
And the same is true for you.
God’s grace in your life has been at work even in ways you may not have fully seen. It has carried you through seasons of uncertainty and fear. It has picked you up after failures you thought would define you. It has forgiven you more times than you can count, and it has steadily shaped you into the person you are today.
And here’s the beauty of grace: you may not be able to change the past, but by God’s grace, you can participate in what He is redeeming right now.
You can become a person who refreshes others, a person who extends forgiveness, a person who partners with God’s mission, a person who lives out grace in a world desperate for it. You can become the evidence of God’s grace to your family, to your friends, to your coworkers, to your neighbors.
Friend, God is still writing redemption stories. And He wants to write them through you.
There are people around you who need to see what grace looks like in action. People who need to know they are not too far gone for God to reach them. People who need to know that forgiveness is possible, that restoration is possible, that hope is possible.
You get to be part of that. You get to be a living example of the grace you’ve received.
So this week, let’s step into that grace. Let’s ask God to help us see where He’s inviting us to participate in His redemptive work in the lives of others. Let’s allow gratitude for His grace to soften our hearts and move us to action, so that we can join Him in writing new stories of hope, healing, and restoration.
You may not feel ready. You may feel like you don’t have much to offer. But if you’ve received grace, you have what you need to share it. And as you do, you will discover there is no greater joy than partnering with God in what He is doing to bring redemption to the world around you.
God’s grace has brought you here, and God’s grace will carry you forward.
Let’s step into it together.
Closing Prayer
“Lord, thank You for the grace You have poured out in our lives—grace that has redeemed what was broken, restored what was lost, and brought us into Your family. Help us to see Your grace at work in our story and to live a faith that refreshes and encourages those around us. Show us where You are inviting us to partner with You this week, and give us the courage to extend grace to others, just as You have extended it to us. Use our lives to reflect Your goodness, to write new stories of redemption, and to bring hope to those who need it most. We trust You, and we thank You for Your unfailing grace. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”