THE LEADER’S SUMMIT (Session 1)
DESCRIPTION: The Leader’s Summit is a focused training experience designed to inspire, equip, and strengthen pastors, staff, and ministry leaders. Through practical teaching, biblical insights, and honest conversations, leaders are challenged to grow personally and lead effectively in today’s ministry context. Each session is crafted to provide encouragement, sharpen leadership skills, and offer resources that help leaders serve with excellence and longevity.
Session 1:
Lead Yourself First
Introduction
Leadership has often been defined as influence. It’s not about sitting in an office, or holding a title—it’s about influence.
The best leaders are those who inspire people, and guide movements, and lead others toward shared goals.
John Maxwell (one of the best known voices on leadership), puts it this way. He says:
“Leadership is influence—nothing more, nothing less.”
If that’s true (and I believe it is), then every one of us (sitting in this room today), is a leader in some way. While you may not wear the title of “pastor,” you’re here today because you are a person of influence. You are here because you’re leading in one way or another.
Maybe you’re leading children in kids’ ministry, or the congregation in worship, or maybe your influence is best seen through the stewarding of resources, or the work of administration. Maybe you’re leadership is found within the area of media, or hospitality, or discipleship, or maybe as you manage ministry as a deacon or board member.
Whatever the case, if you have influence, you are a leader! But that raises an important question that I want you to wrestle with. And it’s this:
What kind of leader are you?
And maybe, more importantly:
What kind of leader will you be?
Well, with that — let’s dive in to our first session.
What do you think is the hardest part of leadership?
Some will quickly say, “It’s people.” Others might point to time management, the endless demands, the challenges, the conflicts, the resistance to change. And all of that is true — those things are hard. But here’s the surprising reality: the greatest challenge in leadership isn’t out there — it’s in here!
The hardest person you will ever lead — is you! Again, John Maxwell states it like this:
“The toughest person to lead is always yourself.”
And if you’ve been in leadership for more than five minutes, you already know this to be true. While it’s easy to identify where other people fall short — it’s sometimes a challenge to do so with ourselves. We can spot their blind spots. We can critique their habits. But when it comes to us? That’s where the real battle lies. We rationalize our weaknesses. We defend our habits. We excuse our shortcomings.
And yet, the foundation of leadership is always self-leadership. As I’ve discovered, it’s nearly impossible to lead others where you have not first gone yourself.
- Before you can call others habits of discipline, you must have disciplined your own life.
- Before you can instruct others, you must first have ensured you are teachable.
- Before you can lead others in worship, your own heart must live in the habit of worship.
- Before you guide others into God’s presence and proclaim His Word to them, you must first have practiced His presence and consumed His Word yourself.
That’s why one of the most important questions you can ask yourself is:
“Am I a leader worth following?”
The only way you become a leader worthy of being followed, is to first bring your own life and habits into alignment with the principles of godliness and personal integrity.
Understand, public influence without private integrity always leads to collapse! That’s why the apostle Paul tells Timothy to:
“Watch your life and doctrine closely.” (1 Timothy 4:16)
He was saying, “Pay close attention to yourself, because your greatest impact won’t come from what you say on a platform, but from how you live (especially, when no one’s watching).” Because, while we may teach what we know, we reproduce who we are!
This is the driving force behind Proverbs 4:23 — which says:
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” (Proverbs 4:23)
Did you catch that? Everything flows from your heart — or what’s inside of you! So, your ministry. Your words. Your decisions. Your example. They all rise or fall based on the condition of your heart.
Your heart is really, like a reservoir. Whatever you fit it with, it was will eventually overflow from it. So, if your heart filled with passion for God and a pursuit of His presence, then that godliness is what’s going to spill out of your life. But if your heart is filled with pride, selfishness, jealousy, or maybe — unchecked ambition, then that’s what you will spill out.
As Jesus said in Luke 6:45,
“Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.”
So here’s the guiding principle for the rest of this session:
You will NEVER lead others well — until you FIRST lead yourself well!
And to do that well, I’d suggest you start with this:
1. Guard Your Heart
The first principle ofself-leadership is learning to guard your heart.
Think about it — while titles or positions may be given in a moment—character is formed over a lifetime. And without a healthy heart, your leadership will eventually display cracks and what’s inside will seep out (under pressure).
As I described it a few moments ago, your heart is like a reservoir.
Think about like this: the Dreher Shoals Dam (located in Lexington, SC), took 3 years to build, and was completed in 1930. At the time of its completion, it was the world’s largest earthen dam. It was originally built for hydroelectric power, flood control, and water supply. It holds back approximately 763 billion gallons of water.
Now, imagine if a small crack formed in that massive wall. At first, no one might notice. It might look harmless. But over time, that crack would compromise the integrity of the entire structure. And sooner or later, the pressure of all that water behind it would break through.
That’s what happens when we ignore the cracks in our character.
A small compromise today, a little pride tomorrow, an unchecked attitude, gossip or slanderous conversations about another, envy of another ministry or leader, jealousy, ungodly ambition — and eventually, those cracks begin to fissure and seep out, causing damage to our ministries and the people we lead.
And worse than harming a ministry, is harming others. That’s why guarding your heart is so important.
So, how do we do that?
We do it through by practicing the basics of a Spirit-filled life. We do it by developing and maintaining healthy spiritual disciplines,
Here are a few examples:
- Daily Prayer – Not just public prayer but private, consistent conversation with God. Prayer is where we align our will with His and let Him soften and guide our hearts.
- Scripture Reading – Reading, studying, memorizing, and meditating on God’s Word. This isn’t about preparing sermons or lessons; it’s about feeding your own soul first.
- Focused Worship – Choosing to fix your heart on God daily, not just on Sundays. Worship resets your perspective and reminds you who is really in charge.
- Solitude and Quieting the Noise – Leadership is noisy and demanding. Jesus modeled stepping away from the crowds to be with the Father (Mark 1:35). Stillness restores clarity.
- Confession and Accountability – Being honest with God and with some trusted friends, sharing your struggles. This actually helps keep pride and secrecy from poisoning your heart.
- Engaging in Service – Intentionally serving others without recognition. It just sort of humbles us, purifies our motives, and reminds us that leadership is about people, other people.
- Practice the Sabbath – Set aside time to cease from striving, rest, and enjoy God and community. Sabbath reminds us we are not defined by what we do, but by what God’s done — and His love for us.
And to this I’d suggest — start small. Strive for consistency more than production.
What I’m saying is, don’t overcomplicate it. You don’t need a new check-list. You just need to start moving towards godliness. So, maybe start with 10 minutes of prayer each day. Take time to read a small passage from God’s Word (maybe a Psalm) a day. And then dwell on what you’ve read or sense the Holy Spirit saying to you. Maybe take a note or two on it. That’s what meditating looks like. Start small, become steady, and begin to develop a habit.
Bad habits are easy to form—but hard to live with.
Good habits are hard to form—but easy to live with.
Leading yourself means developing good habits, and filling your heart with the presence of God. Doing so will ensure that what flows out of your life will be worth following.
REMEMBER: “You can’t lead others to places you haven’t gone yourself.”
Here’s the second thing I’d say about leading yourself. To do it well, you must:
2. Clarify Your Motives
One of the major areas of leadership is discerning the WHY behind the WHAT.
Why do you want to be a leader?
What’s the motivation?
Is it to be noticed? To feel important? To protect your control? Or is it truly to serve God and others?
This is a question every leader has to wrestle with. Because the truth is, leadership offers certain rewards — recognition, influence, authority. And if we’re not intentional, those rewards can subtly become the reason we lead. Instead of leading from a posture of service, we start leading for self.
But theBible is replete with reminds that God looks beyond our activity to our motives. Consider the words of wisdom found in Proverbs 16:2. Here Solomon tells us,
“All a person’s ways seem pure to them, but motives are weighed by the Lord” (Proverbs 16:2).
Understand, it’s possible to do the right things, but for the wrong reasons. And while it may look good to others, God sees the heart!
This is SO IMPORTANT — because, our motives serve as the roots of our character. So:
- If our motive is to be seen, then we’ll eventually compromise integrity to get attention.
- If our motive is to be in control, then we’ll eventually abuse people to protect our power.
- If our motive is ambition, then we’ll eventually use people as stepping stones instead of lifting them up.
- If our motive is fear, then we’ll eventually lead from insecurity, making decisions to protect ourselves instead of empowering others.
- If our motive is comfort, then we’ll eventually avoid hard decisions and settle for mediocrity.
- If our motive is a love for God and people, and a desire to serve them — then we’ll eventually lead with humility, practice authenticity, and experience joy (even when no one notices).
POWERPOINT: Your motives will always shape your methods.
The best example of this is Jesus. Consider his motivation for leadership as witnessed in John 13. Rather than demand service from others, He willingly wrapped a towel around His waist, knelt down, and washed His disciples’ feet.
He was leading from a position of leadership — because His motivation wasn’t pride, but love!
If your why is wrong, then your leadership will be wrong too. But if your why is to serve God and love others, your leadership will be marked by integrity, trust, and eternal impact.
So pause for a moment — and let’s reflect on this. Ask yourself:
Why am I leading?
Am I doing this to build my name, or my kingdom, or my reputation? Am I leading for selfish ambition, or jealousy, or a desire to be seen?
Or, am I doing this to honor God, serve His purpose, and love His people?
Am I motivated by recognition, or by obedience?
REMEMBER: Leadership is influence!
So, while people may follow your words (for a season) — they will follow your motives for a lifetime. Make sure you are leading from the right place and for the right reasons!
3. Embrace Accountability
One of the greatest lies in leadership is the idea that you can do it alone. That because you’re the leader, you don’t need anyone checking in on you, speaking truth to you, or holding you to your commitments.
HERE’S THE TRUTH: Leadership without accountability is dangerous!
It’s dangerous for you, and it’s dangerous for the people you lead.
John Donne, a poet and preacher from the 1600s, said it well: “No man is an island entire of itself.”
In other words, none of us can live — or lead — in isolation. We’re all connected.
And, what you do as a leader will always affect those around you. Likewise, those you surround yourself with (as a leader), will always affect you! So, surrounding yourself with the right people — and the right voices is critical.
Every leader has blind spots. Every leader faces temptation. Every leader drifts from their purpose and tends to lean away from vision and into comfort (when left alone). That’s why God designed leadership to be practiced in community. Listen to the wisdom of Solomon from Ecclesiastes 4. He says,
“Two are better than one… If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.” (Ecclesiastes 4:9–10)
HERE’S WHAT I KNOW: Accountability is God’s built-in safety net for leaders!
Let me describe what I mean by accountability. We all need…
- People who know the real you. Not just the “platform you,” but the “behind-the-scenes you.” People those who know the real you. Who know how you respond when you’re tired, stressed, or disappointed. And who won’t put up with your bad behavior. They’ll call you on it.
- People who are empowered to ask the hard questions. Questions like: “Are you staying pure?” “Are you honoring your family?” “Are you being honest with your finances?” “Are you guarding your time with God?”
- People who call you back to your commitments. Because, anyone can make promises—but we need people who will hold our feet to the fire, and will call us to fulfill our promises and keep our word.
Let me give you a biblical example: Consider David and his relationship with Nathan. While David was a man after God’s heart, even still — he struggled with matters of sexual purity. Even though he was king, he engaged in sin and compromised his integrity. But, he had an person in his life who held him accountable. And that was Nathan. He was a prophet of God and a trusted voice in David’s life. When David veered off track, it was Nathan who confronted him. More than that, he called the king back towards God.
Without Nathan’s accountability, David’s story would have ended in disaster!
Accountability is vital in a leaders life. Think of it like guardrails.
Guardrails on a highway have an important purpose. Nobody complains about them — as if they limit our freedom. We understand they’re there to keep us safe. Guardrails don’t keep us from going places we should; they keep us from going places we shouldn’t.
Accountability works the same way. It doesn’t restrict your life; it protects your life. It’s not about control; it’s about protection. It doesn’t limit your leadership — it actually strengthens it. It keeps you from making errors in judgment.
BETTER YET: Accountability keeps you aligned with who you want to be, and who God has called you to be.
Without accountability, our pride increases (unchecked), our motives drift, and our commitments weaken. But with accountability, we grow stronger, become healthier, leaders better, and finish well. Accountability is needed, sometimes it’s provided, and sometimes its invited.
We need oversight, we need mentors, and we need coaches.
Oversight helps you stay the course.
Mentors teach you what you need to know. And,
Coaches empower you to use your gifts well.
So ask yourself:
— Who have I invited into my life to tell me the truth? Who’s mentoring and coaching me?
— Who have I given permission to speak into my life, to challenge me, to correct me, and to encourage me?
If you don’t have an answer, then your next step (toward a healthier life in leadership), may be to locate a Nathan for yourself.
POWERPOINT: “Accountability doesn’t limit my freedom; it protects my future.”
Application and Closing Challenge
So, let’s put this together.
Leading yourself FIRST, means guarding your heart, clarifying your motives, and embracing accountability.
None of these happen automatically. They all require intentionality. However, if you neglect them, that decision will eventually lead to the corruption of your soul.
And in time, the cracks in your life will force themselves into the arena of your leadership.
REMEMBER: Private victories always precede public victories.
What you win in the secret place (with God), will eventually reveal itself in the way you lead (in public). So, before you lead others, lead yourself.
LET’S TALK ABOUT THESE FOR A MOMENT: (5–7 min)
- Which of these three areas (heart, motives, accountability), is strongest in you life right now?
- And which area would you say is maybe your weakest?
- So, what’s a specific step you could take to address it this coming week? A specific step to help strengthen your self-leadership?
- Determining to read a new book (maybe one a month)
- Listen to new ministry or leadership podcast
- Begin a new discipleship plan (don’t settle for past discoveries)
- Locate a mentor or ministry coach
- Pursue your ministerial education
Prayer (Closing 2–3 min)
Lord, we admit it — it’s so much easier to try and lead others than it is to lead ourselves. Too often, we get busy helping everyone else and forget to pay attention to our own hearts. We need Your help with that. Teach us to care for our own souls first. Help us to guard our hearts so we don’t drift into compromise. Keep our motives pure — not about recognition or control, but about serving You and loving people. And put the right people around us — friends, mentors, brothers and sisters — who will challenge us, encourage us, and keep us honest. God, we want our leadership to come from a place of health, wholeness, and closeness with You. Make us leaders worth following — because our lives look like Jesus. We ask this in Your name, Jesus. Amen.