Grace That Pays the Debt
Philemon 1:17–25
Introduction
It’s one thing to talk about grace. It’s another to live it out when it costs you something.
It’s easy to say, “Forgive,” until you’re staring into the eyes of the person who hurt you. It’s easy to talk about extending grace until it means letting go of what someone owes you, the apology you feel you deserve, or the emotional debt you feel they should repay.
The letter to Philemon is not a theoretical discussion on grace; it is a living example of costly grace in action. It shows us what happens when the gospel collides with betrayal, hurt, and the messiness of relationships.
Onesimus, a runaway slave, has encountered Jesus through Paul and is being sent back to Philemon with a letter in hand. By law, Philemon had every right to punish Onesimus, possibly even to have him executed. But Paul pleads for Philemon to receive him, not as a slave, but as a brother in Christ.
Now, as we move into the final section of this letter, Paul does something even more radical. He steps in and says, “If Onesimus owes you anything, charge it to me. I will pay it.”
This is what grace does. It pays the debt someone else owes to make restoration possible.
Friend, if you’ve ever struggled to let go of what someone owes you, this message is for you. Because the gospel doesn’t just call us to receive grace; it calls us to extend it — even when it costs us.
If you have your bible, turn with me to the New Testament book of Philemon. And look down at verse 17.
17 So if you consider me a partner, welcome him as you would welcome me. 18 If he has done you any wrong or owes you anything, charge it to me. 19 I, Paul, am writing this with my own hand. I will pay it back—not to mention that you owe me your very self. 20 I do wish, brother, that I may have some benefit from you in the Lord; refresh my heart in Christ. 21 Confident of your obedience, I write to you, knowing that you will do even more than I ask. 22 And one thing more: Prepare a guest room for me, because I hope to be restored to you in answer to your prayers. 23 Epaphras, my fellow prisoner in Christ Jesus, sends you greetings. 24 And so do Mark, Aristarchus, Demas and Luke, my fellow workers. 25 The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. — Philemon 1:17–25 (NIV)
Paul’s request to Philemon challenges us to see others through the lens of Christ, not their failures. The first step is learning to welcome others with the same grace we’ve received.
1. Grace Sees People Through the Eyes of Christ
“So if you consider me a partner, welcome him as you would welcome me.” (v. 17)
Paul appeals to Philemon’s partnership in the gospel: “If you consider me your partner, welcome Onesimus like you would welcome me.”
Imagine the moment: Philemon opening the door to find Onesimus standing there, the same man who betrayed his trust, cost him financially, and embarrassed him publicly. Every emotion Philemon felt when Onesimus fled likely surged back the moment he saw him. Yet in his hand, Onesimus holds a letter from Paul, asking Philemon to treat him with the same warmth and honor he would give the apostle himself.
This is the radical call of grace: to see people through the eyes of Christ, not through the lens of their failures.
Romans 15:7 says, “Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.”
Christ welcomed you when you were far from Him. He received you while you were still broken and messy. He didn’t wait until you had it all together to love you. He welcomed you because of His grace, not your goodness.
Illustration: Imagine a trusted mentor sends someone to your home, saying, “Receive them as you would receive me.” You would prepare your best, treating them with warmth and honor, not because of who they are, but because of who they are connected to. This is what Paul is asking Philemon to do.
Paul is calling Philemon to see Onesimus not in light of his past, but in light of his identity in Christ and his connection to Paul. This is the invitation of the gospel in every relational tension we face.
Tim Keller writes, “The gospel creates a new self-image which is not based on comparisons with others, but on what Jesus has done for you.” When you see yourself as a forgiven, beloved child of God, you can begin to see others through that same lens of grace.
But let’s be clear, seeing people through the eyes of Christ isn’t easy, especially when they have hurt you. It may feel unfair, undeserved, or even foolish. Yet grace does not ignore the past; it simply refuses to let the past have the final word. Grace looks beyond resentment and sees the possibility of redemption.
Grace challenges us to replace suspicion with compassion, bitterness with blessing, and distance with embrace. It does not erase the past, but it offers a pathway to a new future — for them and for you.
So, by way of application today — let me ask you:
- Who are you struggling to see through the eyes of Christ because of what they’ve done? Is it a family member who hurt you, a friend who betrayed you, or a coworker who wronged you?
- Are you letting someone’s past failures keep you from seeing them as Christ would?
- What would it look like to extend to others the same grace God has extended to you?
Seeing people through the eyes of Christ is often the first step toward healing and reconciliation. It reflects the heart of the gospel in a world where people are often reduced to their worst mistakes.
Seeing others through the eyes of Christ is where grace begins, but grace doesn’t stop there. It calls us even further — to absorb the debt others owe, just as Jesus did for us.
2. Grace Pays the Debt Others Owe
“If he has done you any wrong or owes you anything, charge it to me. I, Paul, am writing this with my own hand: I will pay it back.” (vv. 18–19)
Paul doesn’t deny that Onesimus wronged Philemon. He doesn’t brush aside the offense or pretend the damage didn’t happen. He acknowledges the reality of the debt and the pain it caused. Onesimus’ betrayal was real. The financial loss was real. The breach of trust was real.
But Paul, sitting in a Roman prison cell, picks up his pen and writes some of the most gospel-shaped words in this letter: “Charge it to me. I will pay it back.”
This is the heart of grace: grace pays the debt others owe in order to pave the way for genuine restoration.
Paul is willing to step in and absorb the cost of Onesimus’ failure for the sake of reconciliation. He puts his own resources and reputation on the line so that a relationship broken by betrayal could be restored in the gospel.
This is a powerful reflection of what Jesus has done for us. Our sin created a debt we could never repay. No amount of good works, religious effort, or moral improvement could pay off the debt we owed to God. But Jesus stepped in and said, “Put it on My account.” On the cross, Jesus absorbed the full weight of your sin, your shame, and your debt so that you could be reconciled to the Father.
Imagine accidentally breaking something extremely valuable that belongs to a close friend — a family heirloom or a piece of art that you could never afford to replace. You know it was your fault, and you feel the weight of what you’ve done. But your friend looks at you with kindness and says, “Don’t worry, I will take care of it. I value you more than the object.” They absorb the cost so that your relationship remains intact. That moment of undeserved mercy is a glimpse of what Jesus has done for you and what Paul is modeling here with Philemon and Onesimus.
Tim Keller writes, “Forgiveness is absorbing the debt yourself. Everyone who forgives someone says: I am going to suffer instead of making you suffer.” Forgiveness always involves a cost, and grace chooses to bear that cost for the sake of love and peace.
Paul’s willingness to pay Onesimus’ debt is a practical, tangible picture of the gospel in action. It shows us that grace is not abstract; it is costly, personal, and relational.
But let’s be honest — everything in us resists paying the debt that someone else owes!
We want repayment, an apology, justice on our terms. We often hold people emotionally hostage until we feel they have “paid enough” for what they’ve done to us. Yet the gospel calls us to a higher way: to let go of our right to repayment so that healing can begin.
Forgiveness does not mean pretending the offense never happened. It does not mean ignoring the hurt. It means choosing to absorb the debt for the sake of love, trusting God with the justice while you choose the path of freedom and peace.
Again, by way of application — let me ask you:
- Who in your life “owes you” something right now? An apology you never received, a debt they never repaid, or the emotional pain they caused that you feel they should acknowledge?
- Are you waiting for them to “make it right” before you consider forgiveness or moving forward?
- What would it look like for you to release that debt and say, “I will absorb the cost so that restoration can begin”?
- Are you willing to let go of your right to repayment for the sake of peace, trusting God to deal with what you cannot?
Corrie Ten Boom, a Holocaust survivor, shared that after the war, she encountered one of the guards who had tormented her and her sister in the concentration camps. He had become a Christian and asked her for forgiveness. Corrie wrestled internally, feeling the weight of the pain he caused, but prayed, “Jesus, I cannot forgive him. Give me Your forgiveness.” As she extended her hand to him, she felt God’s love fill her heart, freeing her from the bitterness she had carried. Corrie chose to absorb the emotional debt for the sake of peace, and God honored her obedience with freedom.
Grace pays the debt others owe, not because it is easy, but because it is the way of Jesus.
Grace sees people through the eyes of Christ. Grace pays the debt others owe. But grace doesn’t stop there — it moves us even further, calling us to go beyond what is required as we pursue Christlikeness and gospel-centered living.
3. Grace Goes Beyond What Is Required
“Confident of your obedience, I write to you, knowing that you will do even more than I ask.” (v. 21)
Paul trusts Philemon will not merely comply with his request; he believes Philemon will go beyond it. A heart transformed by the gospel doesn’t ask, “What’s the least I can do?” but instead asks, “How much can I do to reflect Jesus in this situation?”
Grace does not stop at forgiveness. Grace does not stop at absorbing the debt. Grace moves us beyond the minimum, compelling us to seek restoration, reconciliation, and gospel partnership, even when it costs us.
Philemon could have chosen to forgive Onesimus yet still keep him as a slave under Roman law. That would have been considered generous by societal standards. But Paul believes Philemon will do more, perhaps even freeing Onesimus so he can return to Rome and assist Paul in ministry.
That is what grace does — it propels us to go the second mile, not because we must, but because love compels us.
Jesus taught in Matthew 5:41, “If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles.” In Roman-occupied Israel, soldiers could legally force citizens to carry their gear for one mile. Jesus challenged His followers to carry it an extra mile voluntarily, demonstrating that love and grace transform duty into joyful sacrifice.
Grace says, “I am not just going to do what is fair. I will do what is loving.” Grace chooses to act not out of obligation, but out of the overflow of what Christ has done for us.
C.S. Lewis powerfully stated, “To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.” And that forgiveness should overflow into radical, sacrificial acts of love that go beyond the expected.
Consider the story of the Amish school shooting in 2006, when a gunman entered a one-room Amish schoolhouse in Pennsylvania, killing five young girls before taking his own life. In the aftermath, the Amish community chose to forgive the shooter. They attended his funeral, comforted his grieving widow, and even established a fund to support the shooter’s family. Their radical grace stunned the world. They went beyond what was required, reflecting the gospel in the face of unimaginable pain.
That is what grace looks like: costly, countercultural, and rooted in the gospel.
The truth is, going beyond what is required always feels unfair and unnatural.
Everything in us wants to settle for the bare minimum, to say, “I’ve done my part, now I’m done.” Yet grace calls us higher. Grace calls us to reflect Jesus, who went beyond what was required, leaving heaven, taking on flesh, and dying in our place so that we could be reconciled to God.
Again, by way of application — let me ask you:
- Where is God calling you to go beyond what is expected in a relationship or situation right now?
- Who have you forgiven, but God is now calling you to take another step toward restoration or generosity?
- Where can you extend grace further than what feels fair, trusting God with the results?
- Is there an area in your family, workplace, or church where God is asking you to serve or give sacrificially, even when no one is demanding it of you?
Grace frees us to live generously and sacrificially, not because we are pressured, but because we are grateful for the grace we have received in Christ.
In 2 Corinthians 8–9, Paul speaks of the Macedonian believers who, despite severe trials and extreme poverty, “overflowed in rich generosity.” They “gave as much as they were able, and even beyond their ability.” Why? Because grace had transformed them, and they wanted to participate in what God was doing.
Grace goes beyond what is required because it sees opportunities to reflect Jesus in a world desperate for His love.
Grace sees people through the eyes of Christ. Grace pays the debt others owe. Grace goes beyond what is required, moving us to live lives marked by radical generosity, forgiveness, and love.
This is what Paul calls Philemon to live out, and it is what God is calling us to live out today.
Conclusion
Grace welcomes others as Christ has welcomed you.
Grace pays the debt others owe.
Grace goes beyond what is required.
This is not easy. It will cost you. It will stretch you. But it is the way of Jesus, and it is the pathway to freedom.
Who is God calling you to welcome?
Whose debt is He calling you to forgive and absorb?
Where is He calling you to go beyond what is required?
The grace that has been given to you is the same grace God wants to extend through you.
May we, like Philemon, respond to God’s call to live out the gospel, even when it’s personal, even when it’s costly, and even when it’s hard.
Closing Prayer
“Heavenly Father, we pause today to thank You for the grace that has embraced us, paid our debt, and called us Your own. If we are honest, grace is one of those things that is easier to receive than it is to give. So teach us today to extend grace to others the way you’ve extended it to us. Give us the courage to forgive where we have held onto pain, to release debts owed to us, and to go beyond what is required out of love for You. Let our lives reflect Your gospel in a world that desperately needs Your grace. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”